BSC Aesthetics: How to Look Pro on the Bars

BSC Aesthetics: How to Look Pro on the Bars

Recreational road cycling is premised on the fact that every rider desires to look as pro as possible. While there are many ways to look as pro as possible through the powers of monetary consumption, knowing how to position oneself upon the bicycle is of the up-most importance.

One surefire way to look like you might know what you’re doing is to master the nuanced artform of hand placement upon the drop bars. Welcome to our first post in BSC Aesthetics: How to Look Pro on the Bars.

The Hoods

1. Up to 34 km/hr on flats, the hoods are acceptable. If speeds exceed 35 km/hr for sixty seconds or more, the drops are mandatory.

2. When ascending climbs less than 20%, the hoods are acceptable. While any position will suffice, the “ski pole” grip is ideal [Fig. 1], but not below 5%. Elbows must be locked at 90 degrees if a cadence of 85-95 rpm is possible.

3. When exceeding speeds of 35 km/hr, the hoods are acceptable for longer than sixty-second periods only if the elbows are in a locked 90 degree position (see [Fig. 1]). The hoods are also acceptable at high speeds if a “traditional drop” bar setup and a keen desire for carpal-tunnel exists [Fig. 2].

*Remember*

Never sprint from the hoods. [See Fig. 3]

Hands must sit comfortably on the hoods. Never place hands on the ramps for more than three minutes at time.

Rest your hands on the hoods, don’t grip (unless using the hoods as leverage while standing on ascents over 39%).

Never corner on the hoods when exceeding speeds of 32 km/hr.

The Tops

1. The tops shall be used at all speeds below 25 km/hr while on flats. Always maintain a slight bend in the elbows.

2. For climbs exceeding 5 minutes, the tops should be used approximately 80% of the time (unless you are Marco Pantani, where the drops should be used exclusively [Fig. 4]).

3. When the chances of pulling off a solo break-away are high, the tops can and should be utilized as in [Fig. 5]. However, only engage this position if the possibility of a successful break exceeds 98%. Otherwise, stick to the drops or the aero-horns (see the ski-pole grip of [Fig. 1]).

4. While one’s hands should never approach the tops while descending, they are acceptable when in a “half” aero-tuck (see [Fig. 6]).

*Remember*

A full aero-tuck [Fig. 7] is always better than the half aero-tuck of [Fig. 6].

Whenever possible, relax, and rest your palms on the tops opposed to choking/over-gripping the bar. While this holds no discernible advantage, the lackadaisical quality should intimidate nervous opponents.

Never return to the drops while cornering in the tops break-away position [Fig. 5]. This denotes fear, and fear is the mind-killer.

Always be in the tops break-away position when passing any and all tri-athletes.

Remember: to be eligible for the Marco Pantini drop-climbing style, you must be under 115 lbs.

Related: if a climb anywhere from 45 minutes to three hours is anticipated (i.e., Mount Baker; Hurrican Ridge; Cypress Mountain etc), jerseys must be unzipped, and a gold chain must be donned.

The Drops

1) When riding solo at speeds exceeding 35 km/hr for any duration of time over 122 seconds, the drops must be utilized. This rule does not apply to grouprides (see next rule).

2) When on a groupride, the drops should be used only in the following cases

• When the speed of the group exceeds 45 km/hr for over 119 seconds.
• When the speed of the group lies between 36 and 44 km/hr, the drops should be utilized only if you are first, second, or third wheel.
• If the person ahead of you in the paceline is on the hoods or tops, never be in the drops, regardless of speed.

3) Always sprint in the drops [Fig. 3].

4) When descending, it is always ideal to have one’s hands in the drops while resting on the top tube [Fig. 7]. Remember to lean forward as much as possible to increase aero-gains and to severely reduce stability.

5) Always sprint from the drops and not the hooks [Fig. 8]

*Remember*

Always corner in the drops when riding at speeds exceeding 35 km/hr

Regardless of speed, the drops should not be utilized for more than 39% of any given groupride or race.

Cadence must exceed 85rpms while riding in the drops — never grind in the drops.

Keep your back flat.

 

This concludes the first episode of BSC Aesthetics. Please note that the preceding is not an exhaustive list. This is merely a preliminary guide for those seeking guidance and knowledge where there once was none.