You’re not bored of year end lists yet? Fine. Here’s our top ten things we can immediately recall happening in 2016, as we remember them. In no particular order, and with no claim to actually be the ten best cycling moments of 2016, here we go:
1 ) Pendrel and Batty 3/4 in Rio XCO
Catherine Pendrel and Emily batty go 3/4 in Rio. Are you kidding? This is so amazing! Women’s XC racing is so stacked right now you could put fifteen names in a hat and draw your podium with as much accuracy as you could predict it on Friday before the racing. To have Canadian’s finish 3/4 in such a competitive field at XCO’s most important race is incredible. A brilliant performance from an athlete at her peak, and one showing she’s just getting started.
2 ) Sagan’s Sunroot Commercials
Peter Sagan is cyclings brightest star right now because he shines just as bright off the bike as he does during races. Like these oddball Grease & Pulp Fiction themed commercials for Sunroot, which is some sort of juice or something. Who cares what it is, as long as he keeps doing weird crap like this:
3) Doha World’s Road Races
Specifically the Road Races, not the TT’s. After several days of racing against the clock in borderline dangerous heat, on a so-so course in front of approximately five fans, Doha looked like it would out do even the more dire predictions of its failure. Then the road racing started, and everything changed.
Both Men’s and Women’s races were wild and unpredictable. An ascendant Amalie Dideriksen upset the dominant Dutch squad to bring the rainbow jersey home to Denmark in the Women’s race. Then Sagan slipped by Boonen and Cav to defend his Worlds title after the Belgians had spend hours tearing the race apart in fierce crosswinds. In the end, it felt like we’d walked into the wrong movie theater: we were expecting Brendan Fraser’s live action rendition of George of the Jungle and stumbled into Die Hard. It was thrilling racing when it was least expected. Even better? Canadian’s were right up there both days, with the Women’s squad fighting for position right into the last KM and Ryan Roth getting into the early break — 4km into a 257km race — and holding on to finish 15th. Watch all six hours of the Men’s race (OK, you only need to watch the last 4 hours to catch the good parts) and the four hour Women’s Race. Then go look up pictures of his ridiculous outfit for UCI’s Gala the next day.
4 )Marianne Vos’ Return to Racing
This is a highlight in progress, as Vos’ comeback is just getting started. But what we’ve seen from the prolific World Champion already in 2016 is more than enough to warrant a place on the list. She returned to racing on time to help her Dutch compatriots in Rio and Doha, where Vos, who has enough World’s titles to her name that she could make a full rainbow striped skinsuit, spent her time on course fetching water and animating the race in the aid of Kirsten Wild and Anna van der Breggen. The results? van der Breggen brought home Olympic Gold, while Wild had to settle for second in Doha. More recently, Vos has announced her return to ‘cross with a World Cup win at Heusen-Zolder. Not a bad start to a comeback!
5 ) Sagan Races Rio XCO
Sagan started racing on dirt so, when he decided the Olympic Road Race wasn’t his cup of tea, he decided to have some fun and race mountain bikes instead. After wins at Gent-Wevelgem and Tour of Flanders, he figured he’d won enough already that year, so why not enjoy his time in Rio? Sure, it didn’t go perfectly, but that’s not the point. For comparison, an unnameable Texan largely waited until he’d retired to return to mountain biking, at which point the multimillionaire dope-fiend chose to pick on amateur racers with full-time jobs at established, but grassroots events. And still lost. Sagan idea of fun was taking on the worlds best at the focal point of the four year Olympic cycle
6 ) Sven Nys at SSCXWCPDX16
We just want to ride bikes with our friends. And Sven Nys. In the category of ‘bikes are serious,’ ‘cross’s living legend lines up mid-pack in Portland to run through corn fields, race past naked people, Hodala, and all sorts of other debauchery, and take some giant, muddy balls to the face. Sure, he’s paid to be there. But he’s not paid to go through all that with a smile, then ask to host the event at his place next year. This was like Gretzky showing up at a beer league hockey Halloween tournament and laughing when a guy in a circus bear costume ‘accidentally’ spilled beer on him after the first period. Nys could have been a dick and pulled rank. He could have demanded respect at an event which – as we were reminded during the Men’s race’s 15 minute preamble – is about consciously rejecting the conspicuous seriousness of racing. Instead, he lined up mid-pack, took selfies id race, laughed off muddy yoga balls to the face, and asked to do it all again next year. Maybe 2018? Or maybe, if we pool all our Air Miles together, we can bring him out to Blubber Burn!
7 ) Matt Hayman Winning Paris-Roubaix
Awwwww, if anything in bike racing should ever be made into a shitty sentimental sports movie, this is it. In his 15th Roubaix attempt, Hayman eclipsed Boonen’s try for a fifth cobblestone. And Boonen? He was just as stoked on the Aussi’s as the rest of us. Watching Hayman win had us cheering, then crying and hugging our teddy bears, believing all could be right in the world. Sure, everyone’s decided 2016’s the year that stomped all over our hearts/throats/whatever as if it wasn’t just karma clambering for a better vantage to spew a shitstorm of 2017 all over us (sorry, inauguration’s just weeks away) — but this was cycling’s best moment in recent memory. Lets cling to that warm, comforting, French cobblestone for at least for a little longer.
Bonus round: earlier in the parcours, Sagan jumping a falling Cancellara on the cobbles
8) Froome’s Ventoux Jog
Shit, that was funny. If you though spandex clad dweebs in tap shoes looked funny when they tried to fight, this reset the bar for absurdity. I mean, it worked – it was the right move, and it was an impressive feat – to have the head to keep moving and get to where he could get help and replace his shattered bike, never mind staying upright running uphill in those shoes. But damn, it’s a such ungainly task that Usain Bolt himself couldn’t make it look natural.
9 ) World Cup Cyclocross
What’s that? It’s a cop out to pick a whole season? Well go make your own list. We won’t read it, but I’m sure you’ll find someone on the internet willing to tell you why it’s wrong. On the one hand you have this incredible duel between the sports rising superstars, van Aert and van der Poel, who are so far above the pack they might as well be alone on course. On the other, you have the incredible depth of the Women’s field, which has yet to produce a repeat World Cup winner yet in 2016. The depth has made the Women’s races unpredictable and exciting all season, and with Vos returning its sure not going to get boring now.
[OK, OK, Scheldecross wasn’t a World Cup. But that was awesome!]
10 ) Rachel Atherton’s Perfect Season
In stark contrast to the tight racing in XCO and cyclocross, Rachel Atherton spent 2016 absolutely destroying Women’s Downhill racing. Atherton is head and shoulders above the pack, and inching her way closer to the Greatest of All Time: Anne Caroline Chausson. 7 Wold Cup rounds added to a World Cup winning streak reaching well back into 2015, then a World Championship title at Val Di Sole, Italy. Perfect season is as much as race against yourself as anyone else: that’s 8 World Cup/World Championship level races without a crash, injury, flat or other mechanical in a discipline that is massively punishing for bodies and equipment.
OK, that’s what we remember of 2016. Bring on 2017!